First of all, happy new year!! It's been a while since i've blogged, i've had a bit of writers block and couldn't think of anything worthy to talk about. Quite a few of my previous posts are quite hard-hitting reads so I thought it was time I write about something positive; my happiness.
2017 was a year of ups and downs, the majority of which I spent unhappy. It was full of doctors appointments, self-hatred and general unhappiness. For the last few months I let my mental health get the better of me, I tried to hide it as best as I could but as I recently found out I didn't. I'm going to leave a little disclaimer and say if you've got nothing nice to say to me about how i've previously looked/felt, just don't say anything because I know. It is my life and I know how i'm doing.
On another note, I have recently noticed that I finally have clear skin. Those close to me know how much of a big deal this is to me and I could not be happier with how I look. I no longer avoid mirrors, i'm more than happy to go out without a full face of make-up, i'll jump up for any photo opportunity. For the first time, i'm truly happy with the skin i'm in.
In the past, I would pop, pick and extract any spot or blackhead I saw, whether they were big or small I would go in on them, only to make them worse. I didn't take care of my skin the way I do now. I used to sleep with my makeup on, I wouldn't clean my face properly, and I tried many DIY 'facial cleaners' only to be left looking worse (seriously don't try making any.)
But now, I clean my face day and night with proper cleansers and toners, if I see a spot or blackhead, I leave it and dab a little sudocrem where needed. Also, I now clean all makeup brushes weekly. In the past they would be lucky to be cleaned every couple of months. I read an article recently explaining how much bacteria can stay on brushes if they aren't cleaned regularly, and it made me realize dirty brushes could have been one of the reasons for many of my breakouts!
I'm ecstatic to have clear skin, it's taken me ages to get to this point where I can't find a fault with my face!
Last year, if someone commented on how I would look, it would send me into a downward spiral of over thinking and hating myself. But now if someone says something negative, yeah it'll upset me but I wont let it get me down. I know my self-worth, all that matters is that I like how I look. I haven't spent months building up my life for it to be knocked down by a negative comment whether it was meant with malice or not. I am happy, confident and just love every inch of myself. If that makes me vain then so be it. If you think I looked unhappy previously, do us all a favour and just keep quiet. 2018 will be my year, and i'm not going to let anything bring me down.
I'm going to include some pictures below so you can see the difference in skin. From fake smiles and scabs, to a fresh happy face!
Thanks for reading!
-Jen x
